Breaking Destructive Relationship Habits

This tape, "Breaking Destructive Relationship Habits" addresses how using power and coercion in relationships can be destructive. A controlling relationship substitutes for one which is honest, respectful, honoring, and non-coercive. Controlling tactics include the words used, underlying motives or agendas, and all too often, physical violence. Coercive relationships create winners and losers and when one person loses, there is no 'love relationship'.

One destructive relationship tactic is the playing of the blame game. This relationship game is when a person blames the other one for 'causing' conflict (or causing their own angry feelings)! This cycle of destruction and hopelessness replaces listening in difficult relationships. Listening is a hallmark of a good relationship and when listening skills are used, controlling, abusive, or coercive behavior diminish. Habitual anger is about using destructive relationship tactics (blaming, coercion, and specific communication styles) to meet perceived needs.